Be a Good Partner

The only thing in this world more difficult than caring about other people is finding other people who genuinely care about you.

—Emma Healey

Cover the Basics

Take care of yourself Self-care is like the oxygen masks on an airplane. If you don’t take care of yourself first, there is no way you can take care of those around you. (I’m not the first person to think of this.)
- Eat well
- Sleep well
- Exercise
- Invest in your mental health For me, this means cultivating mindfulness through meditation, acknowledging and addressing when I feel emotionally aroused, and trying to improve my emotional intelligence.
- Routinely go to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor, etc.
Be authentic
- Know what you are passionate about and keep doing it
- Think about the future you want and work towards it
- Be honest and assertive about your needs
Be a Responsible Adult
- Take charge of your career
- Have your finances in order
- Take good care of the space where you live
- Meet your own transportation needs
- Dress appropriately; have a sense of style

source ◊ This list comes from the Gottman Institute. It is also a mnemonic acronym: ATTUNE

Know your love languages and those of your partner There are 5 love languages: words, time, gifts, acts, touch. The best way to show love to your partner is to do the things they value most. Make an extra effort if their love languages are different from your own.
Tell them you love them every day
Show them you love them every day
Always offer your support
Share emotional labor
- Remember important dates and make them memorable
- Take initiative and plan something as a surprise
- Tell them when something is bothering you
- Ask them if they want to talk if something is bothering them
Invest time in building intimacy
- Be passionate
- Be completely loyal to them
- Be completely devoted to them
- Make sure their needs are met; strive to exceed expectations
Spend time together
- Take walks together
- Hold hands
- Make small gestures: open doors, carry bags, wash dishes

source ◊ From the “Fruits of the Spirit”;
Galatians 5:22–23